


passage

by Marcia Elena (marciaelena)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M, Post-Colonization (X-Files)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 01:56:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14415159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marciaelena/pseuds/Marcia%20Elena
Summary: A time together. Prequel totraveling





	passage

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 17th Lyric Wheel, the 'War For the World Wheel', July/August 2004. In this universe things most likely veer off from canon right after RatB, so this would be a while after that. An indefinite while.
> 
> Thank you to Esse for the great lyrics.

There's a restless feeling in him tonight. The festivities here at Home, subdued as they are, are too loud for him. Soft music weaves its spell on couples as they dance, celebrating a birth, the soulful notes plucked from the strings of cello and mandolin plucking at the strings of Mulder's heart as well, awakening shadows in it. The torches set far apart from each other on the cave walls do a poor job of illuminating the vast spaces of their underground complex, making it appear as if time is mired in eternal twilight. 

Seeking some distance from the others, needing silence, he climbs the roughly carved stone steps to the highest point in the cave, an aerie that stands high above the desert. There's an opening in the rock face up there, spanning the upper side of the wall and part of the roof, allowing a good view of land and sky. It's a spot he visits often, mostly because none of the others seem interested in it; he can always count on it being empty. The torch that Mulder carries with him licks the walls with trembling tongues of light as he makes his long way up, the ancient drawings on the rock leaping at him from the darkness, horses and bulls and spirals, curious faces that look more alien than human and never fail to run a shiver through him. For a brief instant, he wonders if years from now there'll be anyone left to contemplate the signs of their passage through history. For an even briefer instant, he wonders if history hasn't ended already. 

The evening is deepening when Mulder finally reaches the top, and he extinguishes the torch before placing it in its holder on the wall, not wanting to alert Them to their presence here. His eyes immediately wander to the distant flicker of flames on the horizon, growing brighter as the night grows darker. He pulls his gaze away from it, trying not to visualize the crumbling buildings, trying not to name the blazing city in his mind. The only power names have now is that of conjuring ghosts: of people, of places. And place names have lost all meaning, because all the places are gone, crushed to the ground by the weight of Their giant ships, by the power of Their weapons. They have no need for human cities or human technology, no need for humans at all aside from the ones They've already enslaved. It's becoming apparent that the best resistance that humans can offer is their survival. They are a dying people, suitably driven to seek shelter in this netherworld of dusk.

The rest of the world isn't theirs anymore. 

And it's burning. 

Alex's deliberately loud footfalls distract him from his grim musings, and he feels himself relaxing in anticipation of Alex's embrace. Only the enemy will steal up on them in complete silence now, and Alex isn't his enemy anymore. He was never really his enemy, but it took Mulder a long time to recognize that. 

Mulder feels Alex's arm go around him, and he leans back against him, relaxing further. The cool night air strokes his face, Alex's breath warm and familiar against his neck, Alex's heart beating strong and steady against Mulder's back, forever chasing his. 

They look at the star-strewn sky in silence, the orange glow on the horizon drawing Mulder's eyes again and again, beautiful. Terrible. But it's safe to look now, because Alex is with him. When Alex touches him, nothing else can. 

And still. 

"The world is on fire," Mulder whispers with a shudder.

"You're in my arms," Alex counters, and Mulder feels his breathed half laugh reverberate through him. "Arm," Alex corrects himself, only the slightest touch of sadness in his voice. 

It's always this way with them, Mulder focusing on the sorrows, Alex pointing out the joys. It surprised Mulder at first, how intensely pragmatic Alex is, yet still somehow finding strength and beauty wherever he can. It's a source of comfort now, to him. Alex's strength. Alex's beauty. Constantly healing the open wounds in him, hushing his despair. 

"Had enough?" Alex asks at length, a shudder of another kind coursing through Mulder when Alex insinuates his hand under his shirt, the brush of Alex's fingers against Mulder's skin pulling a sigh out of him. 

Mulder turns around and wraps Alex in his arms, taking Alex's mouth with his, kissing him slowly, deeply, backing him against the wall. Alex moans when Mulder presses their hips together, and Mulder smiles against his lips. "Never enough," he whispers, kissing Alex again, harder, arousal flaring between them. 

"Good," Alex rasps, smiling as well, kissing Mulder back. His hand is still under Mulder's shirt, stroking and kneading his back, Alex's teeth trailing bites along Mulder's jaw, and Mulder is the one who moans this time. Then, "Mulder," Alex breathes in his ear, and in that one word lie all of his questions, answered; all of his doubts, assuaged. All of his wishes come true. The world still alive in the tone of Alex's voice, the caress of his hand, the cadence of his heart.

Mulder kisses Alex's lips again, his throat feeling suddenly tight, tenderness rushing through him and leaving him breathless. Pulling back, he reaches for the torch he brought and sets it aflame again. The sudden illumination bathes Alex in a wavering circle of warmth, shadow and light dancing on the walls, lapping at him. But when Mulder's eyes meet his, he finds no hesitation there--the fire in Alex's gaze is steady and bright. With a pang of regret Mulder remembers how for so long he mistook that fire for anger and scorn. But no longer. 

He knows the truth now. 

Mulder raises his hand to Alex's face and strokes him, watching his lips part in an inaudible breath, the brush of Alex's stubble against Mulder's fingertips stirring unnameable emotions inside him and bringing tears to his eyes. He swallows, blinking hard as Alex takes his hand in his and kisses his fingers. When Alex releases him he turns and heads for the stairs, listening as Alex follows close behind him, Alex's pace perfectly matched to his. Always watching his back. 

Their descent is as slow as Mulder's way up was, and just as silent. With a smile Mulder thinks about the first time Alex found him at the aerie, his utter dismay when he saw that Alex had come looking for him without a torch. But Alex had only shrugged and said, "I can see well enough in the dark." Mulder didn't doubt him. 

Back in the main hall, Mulder places the torch in an empty holder and turns to face Alex once again. Music is still playing, people still dancing. Alex steps closer to him and slides his arm around him, kissing Mulder's neck, his ear. 

"Care to dance?" he whispers, pulling back slightly and looking at Mulder, his gaze expectant.

But Mulder shakes his head at him, threading his fingers in Alex's now longish hair and fusing their mouths together, his pulse racing as he kisses Alex, holding him close with hands and breath and need. 

"Another time," Mulder murmurs, and feels Alex acquiesce, his body seeming to melt into Mulder's, both of them sinking deeper into their kiss. 

Alex takes Mulder's hand and guides him through twisting galleries to the small corner that they call their own. They undress each other without a word, Alex's gestures measured where Mulder's are frantic, both their breaths loud and shallow. Alex lowers Mulder onto their thin mattress with such care that the worn sheets beneath him feel like silk, like rose petals. He kisses Mulder's lips, his chin, his chest, Alex's fingers trailing sparks over Mulder's skin, his tongue probing at Mulder's nipples, tracing a path down to Mulder's stomach, licking a circle around his navel. He closes his mouth around Mulder's rigid cock and Mulder gasps, arching his back, spreading his legs, his hips moving with a will of their own, Alex's hair tickling him where it falls against his body. 

"Alex," he moans, thrusting deeper into Alex's mouth even as he tugs on Alex's hair, trying to pull him off his cock, wanting to feel Alex against him, needing Alex inside him. Alex sucks him fiercely for a moment, humming around Mulder's cock and rasping his tongue against the throbbing vein on the underside, making Mulder swell painfully in his mouth, tearing a sob from him. "Please," Mulder begs, reaching blindly for the small bottle of lube that they keep next to the mattress and only use sparingly. He slicks up his fingers and closes his hand around Alex's cock when Alex moves to kiss him, drinking in the sounds Alex makes as he fists him, slicking him up too. 

"Do it," Alex rasps, and Mulder feels Alex's body shake above his as he guides him to his hole. Mulder grabs Alex's asscheeks with both his hands and pulls Alex roughly to him as he pushes in, the friction of flesh against flesh as Alex forces his way inside him flushing his entire being with heat and making him dizzy with sensation. 

They moan together then, move and burn together, Mulder's hands exploring Alex's body while Alex's tongue explores Mulder's mouth, his cock stroking in and out of Mulder and creating more heat, waves of fiery pleasure consuming them both. Alex's teeth dig into Mulder's lower lip, Alex's next thrust finding that place inside him that no one but him has ever touched; Mulder bucks under Alex as orgasm bursts and roils through him, everything he is weeping, offering Alex his come and sweat and tears. Alex's rhythm becomes erratic, and he presses his face against the crook of Mulder's neck and shouts incoherently, filling Mulder with life, giving himself up to him. 

Mulder holds him quietly for a long time afterwards, lazily stroking Alex's hair, his back, Mulder's eyes closed as Alex anoints his face with his lips. _A kiss for every hurt we ever caused each other_ , something in Mulder whispers. He tightens his arms around Alex, tears welling unexpectedly in his eyes, rolling down the sides of his face.

"Don't cry," Alex whispers, kissing Mulder's mouth. "Don't you cry tonight. No sadness, Mulder. No nightmares?" he prompts, smiling softly, his movements catlike as he rubs his cheek against Mulder's hand while Mulder strokes him. "Just this." 

Mulder can't help but smile back. "Just this," he echoes. 

Later, when they sleep, there are no dreams. 

There's only the music, winding long into the night. And Alex, warm and beautiful in Mulder's arms. 

* 

The commotion they find in the mess hall in the morning is not the usual breakfast din. Every chair in the place is empty, some overturned. Cups of coffee steam untouched and food sits half eaten on the plates while men and women cluster around their unit leaders. Orders are shouted over the melee while weapons and ammunition are distributed, armed units hurrying past them as they cut a path towards the hastily improvised tactical center.

"What's the situation?" Alex asks without preamble, accepting a gun from the weapons officer in charge and handing it to Mulder, grabbing another one for himself.

"Perimeter alert sounded ten minutes ago. We're sending people out as fast as we can, but it might not be fast enough," the weapons officer tells them nervously. Alex looks at Mulder as the man goes on speaking, and Mulder tucks his loaded gun into his waistband and helps Alex load his. "All civilians are being evacuated to the lower levels, and we have men standing by, ready to seal every entrance with the exception of the escape route in case there's need."

"There won't be need," Alex assures him, looking at Mulder again, his voice razor-sharp, determination in his eyes.

Mulder nods at him, and thirty seconds later they're joining a unit and racing out of the caves. The brightness outside is blinding, disorienting for a moment. Time rushes forward, freed from its gloomy prison, and everything moves fast, so fast, faster, bullets whizzing by like angry bees, gunpowder and cordite stinging the air, adrenaline pumping through Mulder and his boots pounding the ground and-

And time runs out.

Before Mulder realizes what's happening he's being shoved down, and someone is firing close to his ear, falling against him. The grunt of pain he hears is so familiar it makes his heart skip a beat. 

Alex. 

Always watching his back.

Mulder turns to fire with him, straining to cradle Alex against him at the same time, not sure yet how badly Alex is hurt. Alex's blood soaks Mulder's arm, his chest, warm and slippery, so much of it, Mulder's eyes stinging and fear clutching at him as he fires over and over, only peripherally aware that the others are firing with him, each shot eerily muted through the silencers in their guns.

As abruptly as it began, the fighting is over. Everything is so quiet; and in the calm of the morning desert, Mulder's terror and grief are deafening. 

"Alex?" he croaks, shaking as he holds Alex in his lap, trying to staunch his bleeding, refusing to acknowledge the hopelessness of it. The anguish etched in Alex's face pierces through him, and Mulder sobs his name this time. "Alex." 

"Fox," he exhales. Saying Mulder's name with his last breath.

Through the blur of his tears, Mulder watches the fire in Alex's eyes dim and die. He wants to follow, run and bring Alex back to him, save him from Death's grasp. Or, failing that, match his pace to Alex's and let him guide the way this time as they both step into darkness together. 

But Alex is gone. He's gone, and Mulder can't. The sun blazes down on them, the wind stirs Alex's hair, and Alex is still, growing cold, and all the music in Mulder is silenced. 

And the world is still burning.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't Cry (Alt. Lyrics) -- Guns N' Roses 
> 
> If we could see tomorrow  
> What of your plans  
> No one can live in sorrow  
> Ask all your friends  
> Times that you took in stride  
> They're back in demand  
> I was the one who's washing  
> Blood off your hands
> 
> Don't you cry tonight  
> I still love you baby  
> Don't you cry tonight  
> Don't you cry tonight  
> There's a heaven above you, baby  
> And don't you cry tonight
> 
> I know the things you wanted  
> They're not what you have  
> With all the people talkin'  
> It's drivin' you mad  
> If I was standin' by you  
> How would you feel  
> Knowing your love's decided  
> And all love is real  
> Baby
> 
> And don't you cry tonight  
> Don't you cry tonight  
> Don't you cry tonight  
> There's a heaven above you, baby  
> And don't you cry tonight
> 
> I thought I could live in your world  
> As years all went by  
> With all the voices I've heard  
> Something has died  
> And when you're in need of someone  
> My heart won't deny you  
> So many seem so lonely  
> With no one left to cry to, baby
> 
> And don't you cry tonight  
> And don't you cry tonight  
> And don't you cry tonight  
> There's a heaven above you, baby  
> And don't you cry  
> Don't you ever cry  
> Don't you cry tonight  
> Baby, maybe someday  
> Don't you cry  
> Don't you ever cry  
> Don't you cry  
> Tonight


End file.
